Thursday, December 2, 2010

Caught between:: Emptiness and Vacuity

"Lets do this before the elections, it would be such a slap on their faces!"
" Are you kidding? I love Manchester United!" "and i love Chelsea \m/"
" Is that a new dress?? Where did u get it from?"
" Chool khule rakh, bhalo lagbe"

Thousands of annoying,anxious voices pierced my much too irritated mind while I tried to sit alone on the ledge to think about this song I had heard in the morning. The song which had made so much of sense to me. Sometimes the radio (or in my case, my brother's mysterious collection of songs, which has got almost ALL songs) plays songs that get u thinking"thank you, that's exactly how I feel!! Geez"
It was one of those days when I was being my boring self who was thinking too much and sat around looking like a brutally-bashed up pumpkin.
I wondered how my life was simpler in school.
Sure, i hated the last two years of school.
But, the rest of the years were wonderful.
College isn't all that bad. People aren't completely nice but you've become complicated enough to comprehend their thinking. So, its quite alright.
I have a couple of very close friends in college , who I do trust with all my heart. Yes, if they also turn out to be assholes like the many others, I shall be irrevocably hurt.
While I sat around in my bleak state of mind, i saw them crack the lamest of jokes and scream over a lost cricket ball and i wondered "may be they're my 'magic beans' "
Why cry over things you never had? or would never have?? Not everyone is completely happy, you just need to seek happiness in the little bit that you have.
I have a TINY bit (not even a little) but am trying to be happy about it..
Therefore, I silently smiled and analyzed that song in an optimistic way:
" so many times i've wondered where i'd gone
and how i found my way back in
i look around awhile for something lost
maybe i'll find it in the end..
And I'm feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again